The Intrepid Tales of Cornwall

WARNING: What follows is a very detailed account of the 5 days I spent in Cornwall. Due to the fact that it was the best weekend of my life so far, this narration is long and it had to be so. For those who are waiting for tales of Ukraine.. wait a little longer.


Thursday 24, March – It all began on a bright English afternoon. The sun, having made an appearance that day, warmed not only our bodies but our minds as we set off to one of the most beautiful regions of the British Isles – Cornwall. I arrived at the train station a bit late as usual but this was not a problem as my escort also has a chronic time-keeping disease, in that he doesn’t keep it very well either. Eventually Darren and I met up and headed to his house as he still needed to pack and do some errands there. As I was washing his dirty dishes (yes he put me to work right away, the limey bastard!) he went to go pick up his friend Ella. I had finished my chore and was reading a bit of Tom Robbins novel when they drove up. Ella and I met and hit it off. She’s also an avid reader and had a book thicker than my arm (and that’s saying a lot considering my chubby arms) that she was working on, a fantasy novel to boot! I was quite impressed. Apparently this Darren chap attracts some good people around him, if I do say so myself. ;)

We finally loaded up the car and started off on the grand road trip across the southwest. It took about 6 hours to get to Cornwall, two of which consisted of just getting out of the London area! Having left later than we planned, we arrived closer to 1 a.m. However that was all well and good as almost everyone was still sitting up, chatting and smoking when we three arrived on the scene. First stop on our tour was at Si and Laura’s home in Chacewater, a little village between Truro (setting of the Poldark Saga and where Laura works) and Perranporth (our final destination). The wearied travellers (us) were very warmly welcomed by our gracious hosts (Si and Laura). There we met up with more of Daz’s mates. Mark and his mate Chuck came from Portsmouth for this occasion. They were still awake, mostly, when we arrived. Dave and Fliss drove in from Oxford and had already retired for the night. So we few stayed up for a bit longer and chatted, then we all found places to rest and said good night.

Friday, 25 March – Next morning most of us woke to the sound of the telephone, ringing and ringing and ringing. Unfortunately for the caller no one was awake enough to pick it up. It was more friends freshly arriving from London, Emma and Andy. Undeterred by the lack of oral communication they made their way to the sleeping home. Luckily by that time Darren had enough cognizance to answer the door when it began to cry out the presence of visitors to the inhabitants of the house. After some minutes and a few rounds of tea and coffee the rest of the house awoke and started the day. We enjoyed a rather strange (to me) but apparently usual British breakfast (they really don’t know what a breakfast should be as will be shown later) consisting of scrambled eggs on a roll with ketchup and a slice of European style bacon – not the thin crisp strips as in the States but a more rounded thicker sausage like slice. Dave was kind enough, and more awake than the rest of us, to prepare our excellent meal.

Afterwards we all got ready and headed to the beach(es). We first went to Portreath and checked out the waves there. At this point yet another mate of Daz’s showed up, a gentleman called Taz (no resemblance to the animated devil from down under). The waves weren’t fabulous however so we then headed to Porthtowan. There Mark and Chuck braved the winterish waters and surfed for a good few hours. Everyone else watched them from the increasingly warm beach. We all took it easy and let the day progress like the tortoise in the well-known tale, slow and steady, eventually coming to the finish line. Some sketched, Ella, others soaked up the sun, Emma and Andy, and Dave gave a soundtrack to the day with his guitar. Fliss, Laura and I went for a walk along the rocky sea cliff, I without shoes having already done the inevitable upon seeing the massive amount of naturally occurring water (a novelty of Coloradanites) and walked straight into the ocean, socks, shoes, jeans and all! We found a wonderful place to watch the tide come in. A rough man-made pool hugged the cliff side, a rougher man-made staircase lead down to it. For a long time I sat on a rock off the path hypnotized by the waves and the sounds of the ocean.

Eventually Laura, Fliss and I returned to the group. We were all coming and going, resting and exploring and just generally relaxing. It was a brilliant day! I had a real Cornwall pasty (pastry with steak filling, very traditional and very delicious) and amazing Cornish cream ice cream. After a while we loaded back into the cars, collecting the not-so-conquering heroes of the waves, and caravanned it up to our hostel in Perranporth. We tried to get there in time to watch the sun set over the beach. We arrived, unloaded our gear, sorted out rooms and what not, met some more people – Chris, Si’s brother, and his girlfriend Helene joined us all the way from Birmingham and France respectively. Finally we were all sorted and headed down to the pub on the beach, The Watering Hole. They had some amazing fajitas, the first real semblance of Mexican cuisine I had since my brief sojourn in Scotland. Darren got monk fish curry and I tried a bit of it, quite nice I must say for being fish. The last of the party showed halfway through dinner with the arrival of Matt and Scott. They had driven down from Brighton, though Matt had come first from Belfast. They completed our merry circle and after eating, drinking and being… well… merry we at last closed the bar down and were kicked out. Heading back up the massive hill to the hostel was not terribly fun but obviously necessary. Thus ended Good Friday with good food and even better company.

Saturday, 26 March – [from Journal] Got up around 9ish and finally got everyone up and ready. Went to Perranporth town and had breakfast. I had a traditional English breakfast. It’s alright but I still prefer the IHOP or Le Peeps. Then Darren, Matt and I went to a few shops, while the others split up. Some went straight to the beach to power-kite or sunbathe. Dave disappeared for a while (to go paragliding) and Mark and Chuck went straight back into the ocean. Matt and Daz bought winter wet suits and I bought a cool wallet. Then we three went to go hire (rent) boards. I hired one as well and a wet suit. We headed to the ocean, Daz gave me a bit of instruction and we were off. I was in the water fighting against the waves to go farther in and occasionally trying to jump on my board and ride a wave or two. I did manage it a few times for about 2-4 seconds. But it was great fun just to be out there. I was out for two hours, came back in to shore for a break then went out again. After another hour or so the gang headed to a fish and chips shop and Daz, Matt and I changed and met them there. I had haddock and chips. Then we went back to the hostel and got cleaned up to go out to the pub to celebrate Darren’s birthday properly.

When we arrived at the Watering Hole it was already pretty packed due to a surfing competition buffet celebration. We all managed to squeeze into one corner of the pub and order drinks. I chatted to Ella and Emma for a while, had a shot or two along with Daz (for his birthday). Then the band started, this time it was a different band and they were awesome! Darren and I spent most of the night up by the dance floor listening and dancing and drinking. At one point I went to the toilets (restroom) and as I was walking back up the hallway to the stage area, it was like walking through the mists of Avalon to get back to the dance floor. The entire bar/stage area was completely and utterly enveloped in smoke, which contrasted with the pure white hallway I was coming down. It was and awesome and interesting sight. Anyways after a while the surfing competition gang broke up and left, so our crew went in and seized upon their leftover buffet. Someone had to… After a while longer we too had to leave due to closing time.

Walking back to the hostel Daz and I were trailing behind everyone like usual when suddenly Matt came up to us. He made like he was going to tell Darren something when he just ran up and grabbed him! The rest of the boys came over and started to wrestle and tickle him, it was awesome fun! Darren was laughing hysterically (some say like a hyena) and Ella got it all on film. [Keep an eye out for photos of the incident]. Then the boys dragged him a little ways down the beach and tossed him into the water! Fully clothed with camera and mobile (cell phone) still in his pockets, nothing was broken luckily. Oh and they also tossed him into the air for a bit too. Completing the “pick on Daz” portion of the evening we made the hike back up to the hostel again.

We made it back into the hostel and he went to go change out of his wet clothes. Some went to bed, others stayed up including myself when we noticed Darren hadn’t been seen in quite some time… so we went to investigate. Matt heard him snoring in one of the toilets (bathrooms). Si managed to unlock the door from the outside and Laura, Si, Chris and I tried to get Darren out onto the couch in the communal living room and drinking water. We finally managed it and by about 4am he was sleeping soundly and we all headed to bed ourselves.

Sunday, 27 March – It totally slipped my mind (hungover as it was) that it was Easter Sunday. After a slow start for all, we got dressed, cleaned and ready. I finally got a hot shower (didn’t have hot water the day before)! We went to town and had breakfast. Darren went with the ol’ English traditional and I went for something less greasy and more appetizing.

The day, like our moods, started out gloomy. So we all went separate ways for a while. Darren, Ella and I went and took pictures of scenery. Taz, Emma, Andy and Matt went power-kiting again. Eventually we three joined up with them and enjoyed power-kiting ourselves. I had a great time and was fairly good. Emma yelled out to Darren “Your girlfriend’s better than you!” and it was true for the moment. But he eventually got the hang of it with Matt’s big boy kite – a 4.5 metre I think. Emma made it look like a dance, she was so graceful and smooth. I’m jealous and now want a kite of my own. [Hint for Christmas/Birthday presents.] Anyways when the wind died we went to find lunch.
Emma, Andy, Daz and I walked through Perranporth. We stopped in a few shops and I bought an incredibly cool jumper (sweater)! We also got some really tasty Mexican chicken wraps and then went to get Cornish cream tea. (That’s tea with tea cakes and Cornish cream with jam. [The tea is normal tea, but then you put jam on the cakes and top it off with thick and delicious cream.]) I could feel my arteries closing up as I munched on the cakes – it was so good!
We went back to the hostel and gathered our bags. Loaded the cars and went back to Si and Laura’s (in Chacewater village). Half the gang – Dave, Si, Laura, Fliss, Ella, Chris and Helene – were already there. Matt, Daz, Emma, Andy and I joined up later. Mark and Chuck had to leave earlier that day back to Portsmouth. Taz also took off to meet his girlfriend in another part of Cornwall. Emma and Andy left shortly after arriving in Chacewater, they were heading back to London and wanted to avoid holiday traffic. Dave and Fliss headed out as well back to London and Oxford respectively but not in that order. [Got all that? Good. ;)] After a few slow drinks we remaining went to the village shop – open later than any place I know in London, a whopping 10pm – we got frozen pizzas and added some toppings. Well Matt did, we all just sat around. We played rizzlers, a game with cigarette rolling paper. Then after some more drinks and chatting everyone went to bed.

Monday, 28 March – We rushed this day to get in some last minute surfing before heading home. Chris and Helene left back to Birmingham and it was just Si, Laura, Ella, Matt, Daz and I left. We went to Portreath but again no waves, then on to Porthtowan. Where Matt, Daz and I donned some suits, grabbed some boards and went out. I stayed in for all of about 20 minutes. The waves kicked my ass. I couldn’t even get out as far as I had the time before. So instead I decided I’d best just take pictures. Matt and Darren lasted the full hour we had. Then we loaded up again for the last time from Si and Laura’s and headed to Bristol, where Matt had a flight back to Belfast.

Matt drove to make sure he’d make it in time for his flight, of course we started out later than expected… though we did get there in plenty of time. Dropping off Matt, Darren took the wheel and off we went to London. I slept a bit in the car, exhausted as I was from everything. We dropped off Ella in Clapham [part of Greater London] and with a perusal of the map, Darren and I went to Birkbeck [another party of Greater London] were I was staying with Emma. We made it there about midnight after getting turned around a bit. Daz and I said goodnight, I woke up Matt (Emma’s boyfriend) and he let me in the house. Then Darren took off, again with no real idea how to get home, but he made it there eventually at about 1am. And so the weekend of fun ended.

Too many stories, too little time...

Back at the internet cafe for a little bit. Life is still going on over here in Kharkov. I'm adjusted now fairly well to the job and everyday life, though I still have bouts of culture shock and interesting anecdotes to go along with them. Due to the inconvenience both time and money-wise I will have a ghost writer for some of my blogs. Actually I'll still be doing the writing but my dear friend, Mike, will be doing the posting all the way from D.C. Isn't technology grand? So bear with me as we sort through the technical difficulties for a while. I promise to make the blogs well worth the wait! Until then... счастливо!

Homeless

To prove I'm not homeless, here is my address. They write it from largest to smallest so it goes Country down to city, street then the person. If you can't read the characters let me know and I will send postcards/snail-mail letters with the address.

61098 Украйна
г Харьков
у Полтавский шлях
№ 152 кв 182
Dacia Dyer

Cheers!

All's well that ends well...

Well to break the hard truth to you.. I've been eating nothing but one loaf of bread and one length of sausage this whole week. I'm hungry and rather agitated. Today however things were settled. It was all of course a misunderstanding. (Not my starvation, that was well understood by me, but the reasons for it were not well comprehended by anyone.)

Apparently my babushka who was supposed to cook for me didn't know what I wanted and doesn't eat very much herself so I was supposed to buy my grocceries and tell her what I wished to eat. I was under the assumption that she'd buy and cook for two (her and I). Well I didn't buy anything (partly because I had no money) and neither did she (buy anything) beyond the original loaf and sausage. So... I've been gradually eating my supplies until they were gone this morning with my last two slices of a baguette and three slices of sausage for lunch. Then I went into 'work' - a make-shift language school with even less organization than the Fashion department in CSM, if you can imagine that, and voiced my frustration at the situation!! [Translation: I meekly asked about the second option for homestay and they asked why I didn't like this one. I said that babushka wasn't holding up her end of the deal as politely as calorie deprevation would allow and they informed me of the real deal. (That being I'd buy the food and she'd make it.)] Sergei, husband of Kate who runs the administrative side of the school, even informed me that babushka had asked him why I don't eat anything?! So there you have it - unknowing self imposed hunger strike. I wonder if this is how Gandhi got his start?

Needless to say I got paid today, a whopping $60 for the week (a nice 318 gryvnias). That should hold me over until next week. I plan to find a cafe tonight and gorge. So that's that. Amazing how the world looks so much better when you have some food in your stomach.

Still alive and kicking

I'm still here in Ukraine, working hard and trying to make my way in pigeon Russian. Luckily all the students are very eager to talk with me so I'll be very busy. Still haven't found cheap or easily accessed phone/internet connections. So if you think I'm snubbing you.. I'm not. I just don't know how to function in this upside-down like society. Brooke - as for your questions I'll get to them as soon as I get paid and can actually afford to spend more than 10 minutes on the internet. So until next time.. know that I'm well and miss you all!

'A World Away'

So, still in the Ukraine. I'm living with a babushka, grandmother, now. She's quite nice and we can basically understand each other for the most part. I can't write much now, as I should get back to her soon. Just had my first classroom experience. I was a hit apparently. More to come later, when I actually find an internet cafe. Right now I'm using the school connection and the keyboard won't allow me to use the 'shift' key, so I'm having difficulties typing capital letters. Anyways I need to get going PROMisE TO write soon!

Welcome to Ukraine!

I made it! Did you ever doubt me? ... Yeah, me too. But I'm here, alive and kicking and very weirded out that I'm in Eastern Europe. I'm now in the internet cafe in a swanky post office in the heart of Kiev. My boss, Kate, has left me to fend for myself for a while as she and her ex-boyfriend from Moscow hang out together. I'm supposed to find some ancient monasteries by myself and then find my way back to our hotel. Yeah, right. We'll just see how that goes. On the plus side, I'm remembering more Russian than I anticipated. I guess it was all there, milling about in my mind waiting for the opportunity to be used again.

So quickly: I got to Warsaw just fine. Darren's brother-in-law was kind enough to give me a lift in his car so that I didn't have to hassle with public transportation. Thanks Rabah!!!!!!! I had to repack and take out more things from my overstuffed luggage and left them with friends all over London (well just Darren and Emma but still...) Got on board the plane and it only took two hours to get to Poland. Not bad. Got my gear together and found the right bus to take me to the train station to catch the overnight to Kiev. Luckily on the bus there was a lady sitting next to me with her boyfriend and another guy friend and when I asked her if the next stop was the Central Bus Station she not only answered affirmatively but said her fellows would help me off the bus with my stuff. I expected they'd just dump the suitcases off on the corner but no! They helped me all the way to the very platform my train was to leave from, how nice is that?! I think Conrad the taller of the two men, not the lady's boyfriend, may have fancied me. He kept looking at me and smiling and trying to make jokes using body language and pigeon English. He was quite funny considering.

As for the train ride itself I will now quote you from my journal (because I'm too lazy to be original):
"I'm now sitting on the top right-hand berth (looking in from the hallway) with a woman named Lena opposite me, Irina (Ira) below her and a girl named Julia below me. [Note: It was rather like the three fates of Greek mythology - Irina as the crone, the older woman who has seen the world in all it's beauty and ugliness; Lena, the woman who is in the prime of life, experienced but not fully wise yet; and Julia, the maiden, still fresh and naive, looking at the world as from the beginning of a book. I don't know if these three woman really suit the analogy in their personal lives as I believe Julia was my age and has a child already but still, nice to imagine.] Anyways I chatted with Ira for a while, showed her and Lena my pictures from Cornwall and I did it almost all in Russian! Woohoo, boy am I rusty! Well I will work on that later. I'm fairly surprised I understood as much as I did. But now everyone is either sleeping or readying for it so... I'll be back, still have another 15 + hours to go.

2:20am - Passport Check
Good times to be woken up by big burly men in dark grey-green uniforms who talk loudly while they take your passport away behind the open sliding door where you can't see them and finally return with your passport with an extra little stamp.

3:30am - Woken up by big burly woman, nice change up. Didn't get new stamp in passport. Got a customs declaration form from a fairly cute man in camouflage wear and storm boots with extraordinarily light blue eyes. I forgot to buy/bring any food or drink for my 17 hour journey... man I'm dehydrated. All I have in the way of food are the chocolate chip cookies Darren bought me before I left. For now I'm going to try and get some more sleep.

P.S. Welcome to Ukraine!"

End of quotation. Stayed tuned for the rest of my journey and arrival in Kiev. Now I'm off to find me a monastery and hopefully some water. Still a bit dehydrated.